week 7, day 3

I know this is cheating. I have started eating a small bowl of cereal (ride chex, no sugar) for breakfast. It sits a bit better on my tummy. I'm a lot more inclined to eat within a 1/2 hour of waking, too. This morning, 117!
Yesterday I did very small amounts of time on the elliptical, and spent a long time wrestling with the tractor putting out a round bale for the horses. These bales are 1000 pounds, and I was either in mud or in snow. My tractor doesn't have front wheel assist, which is like two wheel drive. I'm pretty sore this morning. My upper body strength is very poor. Wish I could do a kettle ball. If you can, check out Tim's website. I think a woman lost close to 100 pounds using a kettle ball. She looks fantastic!
I know that eating can be a control issue. If you feel out of control in your life, this may be the one thing you can control. Although it feels good, and powerful, even...Feeling physically powerful feels better. You have to trade one for the other. That's right, change. ugh. It's the hardest thing we do, and yet it can be the most impowering.
People will stick with the same job, spouse, way of eating, way of living, because it's familiar. Thing is, it can be incredibly painful, and we cling to it because it's what we know. Even if it hurts. Badly. Life is about choice. You can choose a different path, and learn a new way of being. A way that feels amazing. It's funny, but even though it feels so good, you'll be tempted to go back to old behavior. It was like that teaching skiing.
I'd work with someone, and they'd finally let go of their fear and give a new bit of info a try. It would totally change their skiing, but they would only be able to maintain it for a turn or two. They'd go right back to their old habits. Then, a turn or two the new way. It took them a while, waaaaay after they'd left the lesson, to embrace this new way of skiing. They began to link more turns, and soon, an entire run. I told them if they got tired, or on a hill that was too steep, they'd go back to their old way of skiing. Don't ski when you are tired, and don't go to a steeper run until you are ready, and hopefully do it in a lesson. Wlith time, the new way became the only way, and skiing got a lot more fun.
Here's the deal. With dieting, it's a whole new way of life, and every day is a new opportunity to get it right. You may only link a turn or two, but keep trying. You need to make this way of eating a habit. Make it more comfortable to eat this way than the old way. Make it your own, so that it's comfortable. This is not a "just until I lose the wieght" kind of life change. This is from now on. You can have your "eating day" and that seems to take away all those ugly cravings all week. You'll find your eatiing day becomes more of a non event, and the way you feel in your new body what you celebrate and look forward to.
I'm not saying this is easy. Easier if you do it with support or a friend. Choose this, and keep chosing this way of living. Choose to be healthy. Choose yourself over food. Choose, and quit blaming the world for where you are. Maybe a bad childhood, or abusive spouse, or child birth or whatever got you this way. But YOU are the one chosing to stay here. Quit blaning and claim your power. You are more powerful than you can imagine.